When I got diagnosed with PLS there was in a sense a relief that what I was feeling and experiencing in my body was real and guess what it had a name. Going through the acceptance process was not easy. It was a time of facing the bitter truth that for instance I couldn’t jump or run anymore, that the stiffness I was feeling in my right leg would not go away but could even worsen, that I would need in the future crutches or even a wheelchair for my mobility and that the mobility of my arms could also be affected and last but not least my speech can worsen to the extend that I could not speak out clearly and loudly what I want to say. Only after a half year of being diagnosed with PLS I dared confronting the facts so it was then that the physician told me what I have to expect of the future and what he and his staff could do for me. I can now say that looking back I wasted time in accepting the diagnosis. In the half year of denial I tried different alternative medicine which appeared to be a waste of time and money.
Anyway when I did accept the diagnosis one of the suggestions of my medical program was to start keeping a Diary. It was only after one year that this was suggested I asked for my 52 birthday a diary. I think I was not ready yet to be confronted with my own thoughts. It was also advised to me to become a member of the patients group for PLS and I did immediately, guess I wanted to feel “normal” again. I went to a general meeting and that day was for me (a person who dislikes being member of a group) positive as well as negative. Positive because I started a wonderful friendship which I still enjoy and I got some pointers how to deal with PLS. Negative because I was not ready for the confrontation with how the future can be.
So when I was 52 I got a diary. It took me 5 months to write the first page in my diary but the only words I could write down is “Thank you God” and what knowing God meant to me. Time passed and only this year in January I was suddenly ready to write about PLS. I trust God with my future and I live in the “NOW”. I realized that for me a blog would be a better option than a diary because my handwriting is worsening and its costing me too much energy.
But little did I know that blogging is a “Jungle”. You start by writing for yourself. Then you get caught in wanting to share your story, then checking your traffic, wondering if your writing touches people, wondering if your any good….etc.
I decided not to be caught up in the laws of the jungle. I just want to share my experiences and if they interest you , you can read them. I am glad with each and everyone who can feel inspired with my experiences. Thank you for listening!